Baby by me

Baby By Me

June 17, 2019 3:23 pm Published by 6 Comments

It was one of those nights when you take it down a bit, go way back to the days of Ja Rule, Aaliyah, Whitney,  50 cent and any other old school artiste you could think of, Oh! and legendary Micheal Jackson. That night I was searching my CD collections for what next to play when I saw this mixtape that had “Baby By Me” by 50 Cent on it.

Damn! That was all I thought as I put the CD on the disk tray and turned that particular music on.

“Yahhhh!! That’s my song girl, my roommate Kamdi screamed.

Your song? I asked her in excitement.

Yes, girl.

This song brings a lot of memories, I said mindlessly as I sat down to take in the lyrics.

Oh yeah?  She exclaimed pouncing on the sofa which creaked a bit because of her weight. “Ah ah, Kamdi, spoil the seat because of gossip,  I said eyeing her. ‘Na you sabi’, she responded in her usual lackadaisical manner. Then she began to move her body closer to me with that “I want this gist smirk” on her face.

For over two years I had lived with Kamdi, I learnt what every gesture and body language she made meant, she wasn’t unpredictable.

Won’t you let this go? I asked her knowing it was clearly rhetoric.

Hah! Girl friend, who am I to let that go? ‘Oya, who give you belle’? She asked me in her funny pigdin accent.

‘Belle’? Please, it’s not a ‘belle’ matter, I retorted quickly. By this time, the song had stopped playing and Nas’s “Live Now” was playing in the background. We went back and forth till it was obvious I couldn’t wiggle my way out of the conversation and I should have known better than to give the green light for a story around Kamdi.

Okay! I exclaimed throwing my hands to the air. “I will gist you”,  I said to her. Then I laughed loudly upon realizing how rapt her attention was as soon as I agreed to tell the story.

Do you recall Stanley? The break dancer from Boys High School? The fair, slim…

Yes! Yes! Ehen! What about him? She asked me hurriedly with her eyes searching mine like she left her jewels there.  Wait, did you get pregnant for him? She asked laughing.

Pregnant? I turned to face her puzzled. What’s with you and this pregnancy talk?  Why am I the one quizzed on “Baby by me” and being pregnant when you are the one who claimed its your favourite song? I asked her turning the table.

Huh? How is this about me? She asked, confused and totally oblivious of the game I just spun and knowing who I was, I knew I wouldn’t let her go so easily.

Yes! First, you went crazy as soon as the song came on, then you started insinuating “Pregnancy”. Okay girl friend, what’s your story? I asked her feigning annoyance.

I should have considered acting seeing how easily I turned around this question and answer session. And I wasn’t giving up till I made a sacrifice out of Kamdi.

Talk to me! Did you give up your…? Oh My God! You did, Kamdi? Jesus! How could you? How old? Five, four or eight? You despicable ch…

I lost my virginity! Damn it girl! She blurted interrupting me.

Huh? Wait? Are we having the same conversation? I asked her. It was already too late because I had pushed out a secret from her.

Where did that blurt out from? I asked her not giving up on this new information. Your virginity? To who? I thought you said you were…..shit! I swore.

“Yes, I said that daily to myself and to anyone who cared to listen to avoid the fact that I wasn’t and I was ashamed that I couldn’t wait although it was only one night”, she continued. Her tone changed and I could see the topic unsettled her.

So I tried to change the topic but she interrupted me.

Shh! She hushed. It’s already out of the bag, she said.  By the way,  I lost it to the most handsome man I knew while “Baby By Me” played in the background. I observed immediately that her countenance had changed and the memory of the affair put some colour on her face but she didn’t stop talking.

“For a moment in all of that passion, I thought I was going to have a baby, get married to him and have a beautiful life, you know, raising our babies”, she said looking at me like she wanted an approval. I didn’t know how to react so I kept looking back at her like a zombie on a spell.

Then she looked away and continued. “Well, I’m glad I didn’t have a baby that night, else 50 Cent might have fathered the child because the young man didn’t even want another night let alone a forever”.

Suddenly she stood up laughing and  she turned to me. Believe me, the next words that came out of her mouth were unexpected.

“I loved all of it girrrllll, she dragged that ‘girl’ with a whisper. Truthfully, I found that whisper weird but it didn’t stop her from finishing her talk.

Click to read Perquisite of a Corper

“Darling, funny as it is, I’m saving what is left of that virginity for my husband, and we might play “Baby By Me” again for our FIRST NIGHT or maybe that soundtrack from “Fifty Shades of Grey”.  What’s the song again? She asked me.

I just shook my head confirming I didn’t know what song she was asking for. “Play me my song girl”,  she shouted ending the conversation.

At this point, I wasn’t sure if I should play the song or not but this was what I was sure of, my story wasn’t the one on the slaughter table for scrutiny. And while I wondered if she was really cool about this whole story as she seemed, I still felt deep down that she didn’t tell me the whole story.

Right now I don’t care, I guess I heard as much as I needed to hear and I was left to wonder whose “Baby By Me” story is worse and we may never know.

Who is ready for another repeat of 50 cent’s memory lane song? With a grin, I put “Baby By Me” on repeat and sank into the chair.

The night seemed long already.

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This post was written by Lisa Eze


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